I Cook My Turkey the Old Fashioned Way - 3/4 Sleeve Raglan T-Shirt Size:2XL promises to wash the scum

promises to wash the scum off the streets

Telling your liver to shut up on the Fourth of July is just organ abuse wrapped in patriotism

and a gray sole plate

Wrapping a butt joke in earnest Earth Day packaging is the only form of environmentalism with a 100% engagement rate

Based in Newark

I Cook My Turkey the Old Fashioned Way - 3/4 Sleeve Raglan T-Shirt Size:2XL promises to wash the scumPerformative helplessness around a turkey is a skill refined over decades, passed down like a family heirloom nobody asked for. Asking "need any help?" once and accepting no is basically a recipe at this point. The Details: Bold black block text reads "I COOK MY TURKEY THE OLD FASHIONED WAY" above and around a vintage hand drawn illustration of a roasted turkey on a platter in reddish brown tones with dark green herb garnishes. Orange text in